Here’s another story from Vegas that needn’t stay in Vegas. If nothing else, Interop provided plenty of blog fodder.

Schwag, for those unfamiliar with the term, is the abundant promotional material one picks up for free at trade shows. This can include anything from hats to bouncy balls, pens to stuffed monkeys, all stamped with a company name. Nearly every booth has something to offer, and the stuff is so popular that some booths close to the front give out schwag bags to fill with your collected goodies.

Some of the trade show attendees seem to be there for no other purpose than schwag gathering, walking from booth to booth, wordlessly harvesting their bizarre collectibles. I imagine their homes covered in shelves, filled from floor to cieling with the diseased thinking of a thousand desperate marketing teams. Every night, after every show, they pour their newest bag of treasures out on the floor and sort it by color, size, company. They admire each three-sided highlighter, each USB key in the yellow flourescent light of a dusty lamp before placing it in its spot upon the overloaded shelves. Either that, or they sell it on Ebay.

Now, I myself am not really a fan of schwag. I have collected and disposed of enough crap in my life to recognize the beginning of another such cycle. However, after a long day of manning a booth on hard concrete I do have a weakness for beverage. As it happens, many booths recognize the desire for drink among tired trade show folk, and in lieu of yet another t-shirt, they break out the booze. Knowing this, I chose the end of the day to make my own round of Interop’s exhibitors. All went well until I reached a particular booth which was providing half full plastic cups of champagne. Though I was inclined to decline the offer anyway (champagne doesn’t appeal in this particular context), I didn’t even have a chance before I was denied the glass. Why? Because I was an exhibitor.

I have heard of this policy before, but I still don’t understand it. What would be the benefit of instructing your booth minions to deny drink or schwag to anyone? Are there trade secrets in the champagne? Is the stuffed monkey in some way a competitive advantage? Are you afraid of offering comfort to the enemy?

I am part of the decision making team at a young growing company. I am not in competition with the champagne provider. In fact, I may be a great prospect in the next six months, and yet, because I am an “exhibitor” I am denied the benefit of their largesse. What could possibly be the thinking behind this policy?

If you are giving something away, give it to everyone. If you can’t do that, don’t give something away. The risks of supplying your competitors with valuable pens or performance enhancing champagne is nothing compared with the risks of denying a large group of individuals on the chance that they might not be prospects. If even one future customer is in that group you have probably lost more than the collective value of everything you’ve given away.

Help a Neophyte:
What do you think? Is there a reason for this schwag stinginess? Don’t I deserve a drink?

 I just got back from Interop in Las Vegas, and I picked up a couple of trade show lessons I would like to share over the next couple days. I picked up some other unrelated lessons as well, but Sin City adventure is not really appropriate neophyte content. You came here to read about marketing, branding and business. I wouldn’t dare sully your experience with the extraneous oddities inevitable in the neon atrocity of the desert. So . . . let’s talk about babes.

The booth babe, for those unfamiliar with the term, is a woman hired specifically for a trade show. It does not refer to those attractive and knowledgeable sales people (men or women) that also happen to add a little visual appeal to a company’s display. Booth babes are typically scantily or provocatively clad. They smile more than normal human beings and are prone to leaning forward and bending over. They have little knowledge of the products they represent or the customers who might be interested in purchasing them. They are props set in place to work on the instinctual mind of the men that wander trade shows in such drastically disproportionate numbers. No insult intended to the women who, for reasons of their own, fill this role, but this is what they become for the two or three days that a trade show runs.

An example of booth babes (not necessarily Interop but representative of what you might find there)

Of course, the female form has been shamelessly linked to sales for as long as we have exchanged goods and services. In the inky past, at neolithic trade shows, woman clad in scanty mammoth fur outfits probably hawked better spears and more well appointed caves. I fully expect that a fossilized human ancestor found near a prototype of the first wheel will prove to have been buxom and beautiful. Sadly, it appears that many have not progressed past the marketing and sales ideas of our frontal lobe deficient ancestors. While Interop was not as rife with examples as I expected, there were definitely a number of perpetrators of this overused tactic.

Setting aside for a minute the insult this tactic must present to female visitors, co-workers and, even in some way, the “babes” themselves, what does this it do for one’s brand? Even if dressed in company colors (however small the outfit) and spouting company rhetoric (however parrot-like), is the use of booth babes advancing the brand? Is it adding value? Is it qualifying prospects? In short, does it work?

Certain brands seem to be able to get away with the use of hyper-sexualized women because their brand is built on it. The best modern example of this is probably Godaddy.com, though I am sure you can probably think of a few more. Companies such as that can and do use booth babes without seeming inconsistent. The brand is the babe and thus the babe is the brand. However insensitive or misogynistic . . . it seems to work.

However, what about the company that provides networking equipment and has built their brand on efficiency and reliability? Is there a reason for the bikini bottomednymphets cavorting in front of their shoddy 10×10 booth? Not only is the sale of sex laughingly obvious, but the whimsical, devil-may-care connotation seems to undermine the brand itself. Sure, there are a lot of people around the booth. Anyone who has plumbed the depths of men has found many a shallow moment in all of us. But, what is the takeaway? For all the traffic, what are the visitors of the booth thinking about the company who’s shy sign appears behind those come hither looks and exposed cleavage?

I will tell you what I took away (yes I “checked out” the booth . . . but only for research purposes). To me, the sharp contrast between the brand and the babes seemed like a lapse in creativity. I pictured a marketing guy, sitting with his team trying to design a booth concept, and instead of looking for ways to enhance the brand or provide a remarkable experience he said . . . “let’s get babes.” I see a man, maybe, who simply wants to spend his three trade show days in the company of “models” rather than customers or business partners. I see desperation from a company whose offering is not compelling enough to draw crowds for its own sake. I see boring. I see predictable. And, most of all, I see a company I would be hesitant to work with.

I admit, the ramifications among my female co-workers and partners is enough to steer me clear of booth babery (not to mention the feelings of my fiancee), but even without the weight of my conscience I can’t find the value. If your brand is built on sex, go ahead and sell with it. I may not like it, but far be it from me to say it isn’t effective. But, if your brand has other attributes, I would think twice before watering it down for the next trade show. Booth babes may bring traffic, but will they close deals? Will they help to build your brand?

Help a Neophyte:
What are your thoughts on booth babes? Have you used this tactic? Is it effective? Short term? Long term? Let me know in the comments.

Hooray! It’s a special Saturday Edition of the Friday 5. This “tardiness” definitely has nothing to do with my trip to Vegas for Interop, and I certainly didn’t just catch up on my blog posts today. How dare you leap to such conclusions? I simply wanted you to have a break on Friday and a special treat waiting on Saturday evening. I mean, it is all about you . . . right?

Risque Teacher Profiles Raising Questions? Why Parents Should Carry Part of the Responsibility from Marketing Pilgrim
I threw this link on the list in support of all the teachers I know. For some reason teachers have been bearing more and more of the blame for the state of our children’s education and values while the power given to them to govern such things has been continually diminished. This article is a great example of the superhuman standards to which teachers are held in exchange for subhuman respect and sub-par compensation.

The Economy Stinks. Does Your Marketing Stink Too? from Frank Thinking
While I was irritated with the excerpt I received in my reader, I decided to put this post in the Friday Five anyway as it touched on the economy concerns that seem to be effecting so many of us. Take a look at the article. Leave a comment. Then tell Frank to switch us over to the full feed so we can continue enjoying his writing without the aggravation.

Let’s Talk About Your Web Site from Marketing Professional’s Daily Fix
This post wouldn’t have made this list if the section on contact forms hadn’t been so right on the nose. Make sure you read all the way to the end of this piece or you might miss the best part.

What is a #1 Google Ranking Worth? from SEO Book
I’ll admit that I haven’t even read all of this article yet, but what I have read has been just the sort of great insight and advice you would expect from Aaron Wall. Even though I was pressed for time today, this will get the full read and review in the next couple of reading sessions.

Bad Day at the Office from glumbert
This one is just for fun. A little frustration taken out on office equipment. It is annoying the way the ads appear on the bottom of the video though.

Recovered Posts: So I switched blogging software and haven’t managed to get the old posts back. While I may have the time to figure it out one day, I figured I would take the opportunity to reprint some of my favorite old posts. I apologize for those who have been around since the beginning. Ignore if you like. 

Liz Strauss has put out a request on her Successful-Blog for blogging metaphors or metaphors that explain blogging. Since I am occasionally known to dabble in flowery language, I thought I would have a go at it, or, actually . . .  20 gos at it.

Some of these sound cynical and some sound overly romantic but there are many types of bloggers and blogs. There are also many types of me that appear and disappear according to mood. Sometimes blogging can be frustrating and lonely. Other times I am amazed by the concept and the ways in which it can allow us to connect. So, twenty different metaphors for twenty different moods.

Blogging is a hundred tiny lectures to a class that might just be there to pass notes or nap.

Blogging is writing 10 books at the same time.

Blogging is standing on a crowded street yelling out the ten best methods for crosswalk usage.

Blogging is throwing rocks at thousands of windows and trying to wake the sleeping beauty inside.

Blogging is a long car ride as a child where every few minutes you reach over and pinch your sister.

Blogging is a bar where a surprisingly large number of people are intelligent (and sober) enough to say something worth listening to.

Blogging is a polygamous marriage.

Blogging is potluck dinner only without the Rice Krispies treats.

Blogging is an infinite refrigerator with a never ending supply of magnets.

Blogging is a commercial that sells itself.

Blogging is a song where you only know half the words, and, hoping no one will notice, you make up the rest as the melody continues.

Blogging is picking lice off the universal monkey.

Blogging is open mike night at the worlds biggest coffee house.

Blogging is stepping into traffic.

Blogging is the manufacture of ghosts.

Blogging is memoir serialized.

Blogging is a box of chocolates. You do know what you’re going to get if you bother reading the explanatory literature Mr. Gump.

Blogging is a comprehensive stamp collection.

Blogging is bad joke told over and over until it is finally good.

Blogging is a junior high dance with enough slow songs to go around.

Anyone who wants to take one of these metaphors and spin it their own way is welcome to it. Thanks for the inspiration Liz.

As our product begins its real entrance into the market we have been thinking quite a bit about pricing. In the course of this I have come upon a few basic “rules” for setting product prices. These may seem obvious to most of you, but sometimes restating the obvious can provide useful insights. Besides, I don’t have a great memory, so the more repetition the better.

First, your prices must be high enough to pay yourself and your employees, grow and maintain your infrastructure and satisfy your investors. Like I said, obvious, but it bears repeating because so many companies fail to do it. Competitive markets exert a great deal of price pressure, and the temptation to cut margins is, at times, too much for those looking to out maneuver the competition. Playing too close to the edge leads to cranky, underpaid employees, poorly maintained, out of date equipment and disappointed investors. If “the lowest price” is your only selling point you risk stymied growth and a sub-par working environment which brings us to our next point . . .

Your prices must accurately reflect the perceived value of your product. Um . . . duh. Again though, this is something to be thought about carefully. If your prospect’s can’t find enough value in your product to meet the above requirements for setting prices, you either need to change the product, change the perception or pack up and go home. There is only room for one “lowest price” product in a given market and, frankly, that’s no way to live. Raise the perceived value of your product and charge accordingly.

Thirdly, pricing needs to be simple, particularly if you are providing your product to someone who plans on reselling it. Upfront costs and recurring fees need to be straightforward and consistent. Options should be few and generally inflexible. Customers are most comfortable if they are able to budget without concern for future changes or surprise fees. Simple pricing also increases trust among customers wary of schemes and underhanded trickery.  Talking to prospects in Las Vegas this past week really drove this point home as VARs were discussing ways of passing our fees on to their clients. Simplified, predictable pricing definitely gave us an advantage.

There are, of course, many more detailed rules and practices regarding pricing. Unfortunately, as a neophyte, I am still learning about them, but I’ll pass on whatever I pick up. In fact, here’s an interesting article on the 19.95 phenomenon. Apparently their are psychological factors at play in that seemingly transparent tactic.

Help a Neophyte:
I am sure I missed plenty of basic rules that the rest of you are aware of, so lay them on me in the comments.

My posting has been pretty poor the last few days because I am down in Las Vegas for Interop. The show so far has been interesting and provided plenty of fodder for future blog posts. I have also managed to glean a little tech news that I’ll share as soon as I can.

 Unfortunately, duty calls and I can’t afford the time for any of it right now. Need to take a client out and try to avoid creating anything that needs to stay in Vegas.

So it’s Friday again and I’m a little late with the links. I know the crowds are clamoring in the streets and children are refusing to go to bed, so here they are. Now I’m headed back to work. We’re preparing for Interop in Las Vegas next week and we’re in the 11th hour (alright maybe 10th). If you’re in Vegas or will be next month, get in touch, and I’ll buy you a beer.

Why Aren’t There More Googles from paulgraham.com
Here’s a little insight into the world of venture capital investment and why so few companies stun the world. This is of particular interest to me as we are looking for another round of cash right now. Anyone with deep pockets is encouraged to send me an email and help us on our way to Googledom.

This is the World’s Worst PR Pitch from What’s Next Blog
PR is difficult. That said, some make it look harder than others. Enjoy a well illustrated example of what not to do.

Top 25 Opening Credits of 1980 from The Popcorn Trick
Okay, it sounds like Digg bait. Frankly, it probably is Digg bait, but it still took an amazing amount of effort to put together. While it is a little strange for me to link to something like this in the Friday Five, let’s just assume work has made me a little strange and enjoy it. Besides, the guys behind it are friends of mine, and their antics (when this entertaining) deserve a little attention.

Your Customer Rewards Program from Duct Tape Marketing
How do you reward your customers? I mean, other than with the privilege of enjoying your wonderful product or service. I like this post’s idea of a customer council as opposed to the nearly cliché iPod or the self serving discounts on future purchases. But, if I were to create a group of privileged customers, I would call it the Customer League and make everyone wear a cape.

APR for Houses from The Dilbert Blog
There is no sense hiding it. This link is largely self promotional. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the post and the idea behind it. In fact, I like it so much I wrote a post over at the postgreen blog all about it.

Recovered Posts: So I switched blogging software and haven’t managed to get the old posts back. While I may have the time to figure it out one day, I figured I would take the opportunity to reprint some of my favorite old posts. I apologize for those who have been around since the beginning. Ignore if you like.

This post was written as part of Middle Zone Musings’ group writing project “What I learned . . . “. This month’s assignment focused on what I learned from work. Check it out and join in.

A 50 pound package of shingles is a heavy thing for a 140 pound, scrawny teenager to carry up a rickety ladder. By the tenth trip the shingles had rubbed my shoulder raw, which was actually an almost pleasant relief from the sunburn that covered the rest of my body. My right arm was only semi-functional after hours swinging a hammer, and it was still buzzing with the dull, aching aftermath of several angry, homeless hornets. There was tar in my hair and at the peak of the day the roof was so hot it would melt to the bottom of my shoes. I was exhausted, unhappy and, I’ll admit, a little bit whiny. The men I was working with wouldn’t even play decent music.

Roofing, as you can tell, is remembered mostly for its misery, but I did take an important lesson or two away with me. I learned, from that experience, that no matter how bad your job seems, someone is doing something worse (unless you’re roofing). This helped me through a litany of less than exciting work situations. Long days did not seem so long compared to my time with the shingles. Tedious tasks were nothing compared to picking fallen nails out of the grass. Annoying customers didn’t bother me nearly as much as bees. I would always say, “at least it isn’t roofing.”

I also learned, much to my disbelief, that there were people who actually liked roofing. At the time it lead me to assume that these people must also like having red hot needles shoved under their fingernails. That they were, in a word, crazy. However, time and several other jobs where my unhappiness was not mirrored by all of my fellow workers, showed me that different jobs appeal to different people. Some  types of work, the kind that would make me want to pull my teeth out one by one just for a break in the monotony, would be the most exciting occupation in the world to someone else. Whereas, a job I found interesting would appeal to them about as much as nice, solid smack in the face. Hell, there are even people who actually enjoy a nice, solid smack in the face.

Now, I have a job I enjoy, and I don’t have to say, “at least it isn’t roofing” anymore, but I still remember the lessons from that time. I remember some of the guys I worked with on those roofs. They were smiling and laughing. They were happy up there. They had found something about roofing that I couldn’t see and, despite what I thought, it wasn’t crazy. It was simply different. At the end of the day I could imagine them at home. Their wife asks, “how was your day?” They reply, “It was alright. A little hot, but at least it isn’t marketing.”

No, this is not a question for peeping toms and voyeurs (we already know their answer). It is a question for you, the marketing guy/gal. Do you get the opportunity to watch people interact with your product? Do you take that opportunity?

Often it is difficult to imagine a product being used in any way other than the specific way your company intended. Knowing the product as well as you do, it is hard to imagine what someone else might do with it. It is nearly impossible to imagine the many places people will struggle with your product, impossible to predict what will be easy and what won’t. It is hard to say what will impress, stun, wow.

The best way to discover these things is to observe users interacting with your product. For some this may be easier than others, but it is important for everyone.

Help a Neophyte:
What tools and techniques do you use to see your product in use? What would you like to try?

A little Earth Day humor. Thanks to The Daily Green for their Earth Day comic collection.

Rhymes With Orange by Hilary Price, dist. by King Features Syndicate

How are you going green this year?